After 19 years, I chose not to
Hello, my guess is the reason you came to this blog, you are a person who’s trying to quit smoking. Welcome. Here, at smoking is a choice, I share with you my perspective on quitting smoking. I am not a psychiatrist or any kind of specialist of the field. I am a guy who succeeded to quit after 19 years of poisoning himself without putting any will power and with ease. My quitting journey took me more than 5 years so I have much to tell you about.
My main message I want to share with you is, you are choosing to smoke or not to. How much to smoke and then. Not that simple as it sounds you say? Nicotine equals to heroin addiction you say? Tried five times to quit with no success you say? I’m not arguing with you, I’m not a doctor working with addictions, remember? I am just saying, that there is another way, that I accidentally found and I want to share with you.
Spare some time and give yourself another chance. You can’t lose by reading several articles and putting an extra thought on smoking, right?
Why quitting, based on will power do not work?
There are plenty of quitting programs, books and videos. Some are free, some of them are selling their methods for money. The essence of most of them are: in order to quit, you have to make a decision and the rest is up on to your will power. This is an essential lie of an industry to my mind and here is why.
That moment I was smoking my last cigarette I had no clue it is the last one. I just didn’t light up my next one. I noticed that I am not smoking anymore on the third clean day. Decided not to start, as I did not need it anymore obviously. When it comes to making decision TO QUIT, I am skeptical as smoker may not be ready to do that. Besides positives of quitting, he has some positives that addiction offers, because of that, such decision may bring nothing but suffering and sorrow.
Will power in quitting is deceptive, that makes it useless in our business. If you need a will power not to smoke, you are still a smoker, despite you do not smoke for a week, a month or a year. Those feelings only at the start they say. After some time cravings become more scarce and weak, they say. It is true, after long non-smoking period, thoughts about smoking are coming less often. The problem is, often you need only one intense situation, mixed with some extra stress and that tiny dirty thought in you head emerges. All your hard work goes down to the drain. Again. Familiar with a situation?
My offer to you
Treat your addiction as an unwelcome tenant at your place. You may fight to throw him out. The stronger, the one who has more willpower and determination wins. There is a big chance you’ll throw your enemy out after a sharp and heavy fight. Most probably some glassware is broken and TV set smashed. It is not so cozy at your place and you feel unbalanced a bi but you are a winner! Really? Or maybe your habit just went down the road to the corner shop to buy another pack and is coming back for a second round? You will never know, if you throw your habit by force.
The other way is to negotiate with your tenant. No fights or loud voices, just stone-cold facts and empathy to both sides, that leads to final decision, under what terms and conditions you gonna start separate lives.
You have to face the reality of your addiction, respect it and make friends with it. Negotiate, and finally say so long to each other. Addiction is a strong and clever opponent, so it deserves respect, no matter how much you hate it. Negotiations may take lots of time and thought, but trust me it is worth it. After you make a deal with it, addiction does not come back anymore. I know, I made this deal.
Fellow smoker, if you find at least some rationality at what is written above, I am calling you to stick with this site, to read, discuss and think. I am sure, Your negotiation with smoking will be way easier and more productive.